Staines - the mistake

Posted by smol on

Widespread chaos swept Surrey when one mistake from a curious postman changed the course of history.


The postman (who shall remain unnamed as to protect his identity) had been a regular deliverer of post in the town of Staines-upon-Thames for nearly 20 years, but recently, the addition of smol brown boxes in his mailbags started to catch his eye. They were laundry capsules, smol enough to fit into packaging that could be posted through the letterbox, with the promise of a concentrated formula but great fragrance.


After a week of posting these laundry capsules through the letterbox, he let his curiosity rule, and he opened the box of smol that was to be delivered to Mr Green of 10 Washing Ave. He stopped on the garden step, opened the packet and took out one of the 24 non-bio capsules inside. But, lost his footing, and the concentrated capsule dropped to the stone slates below and burst onto the pavement.


This simple mistake would have usually posed no issue, had it not been raining that morning. Mixed with the concentrated formula, the smol capsule got to work immediately and that’s when Staines started to disappear.


The town has since transformed into a blank canvas; once the picture of fecundity and joy, it is now a plane of white, albeit with added freshness. It has been renamed ‘upon-Thames’ by the locals of the Surrey town, as thanks to smol, Staines had disappeared.


The postman’s trial begins next week, where he is charged with Mail Theft and the disappearance of a whole town.







big is dead, long live smol.

Older Post Newer Post